Therapy for the Betraying Partner
You’re drowning in shame. You want to fix this. You don’t know how. You also want your partner to stop hurting and to stop bringing it up. All of this can be true at the same time.
Here is therapy for the partner who caused the betrayal. The goal is helping you to face what happened without drowning in shame, so you can do the actual repair, and become the person that’s aligned more with who you want to be.
You did something, or hid something, and now you're living in the wreckage of it.
Part of you is genuinely sorry. Another part of you might be blaming your partner. Part of you is exhausted by the conversations and wishes your partner would move on already. Part of you keeps getting defensive even when you try not to. This doesn't make you a monster. It makes you a person who hasn't done the work yet.
Where a lot of people are when they land here:
You're buried in shame and it's coming out as defensiveness or shutdown
You keep half-apologizing, then justifying, then wondering why nothing lands
You want to prove you've changed, but you're not sure you know how
You're scared this is permanent, that you'll be paying for this forever
Some quiet part of you wants credit for how bad you feel
Here's the thing I'll say plainly: feeling terrible isn't the same as repairing. Repair is a skill, and most people were never taught it. That part is learnable.
I'm Kris Cristiano, LCSW and CSAT. I work with betraying partners without shaming you and without letting you off the hook. Those aren't in conflict.
I believe people can change when they choose to. I also won't work harder than you do, and I won't help you manage the optics of an apology while dodging the substance. But I will help you see your cycles so real repair can be possible. If you want someone to help you look sorry, I'm not it. If you want to become someone your partner can trust again, I can help.
I'll bring structure and tools. You bring the willingness to sit in discomfort long enough to grow. That's the deal.
The Plan
Request a free 15-minute consultation
We'll talk about what you're looking for in a therapist.
Why therapy now?
What you're hoping to get out of therapy.
See if we are the right fit. No pressure, no obligation.
Get honest about the whole picture
We look at what happened and what drove it, without excuses and without you disappearing into shame. Truth matters and is the only way you can genuinely heal. We will also talk about if [Linked page: Disclosure] is right for your situation.
Build the real thing
You develop genuine empathy for your partner's experience, take accountability that actually holds, learn the trust-building skills repair actually requires, and more.
WHERE THIS LEADS
Right now: shame, defensiveness, apologies that don't land, the sense that you're always on trial.
With work: you understand what drove your behavior and you've addressed it at the root. You can hear your partner's pain without collapsing or defending. Your accountability is steady, not performed. You're rebuilding integrity you can actually stand on, whatever happens with the relationship.
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I take the side of truth, safety, accountability, and healing. In practice that means I won't shame you and I won't let you dodge. Both partners get honesty from me.
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No, this is individual work for you. Couples work is separate, and honestly, individual work often needs to come first.
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Free, 15 minutes. I'll ask what you're looking for in a therapist, why now, and what you're seeking. It's also where we figure out if I'm the right fit. I'm not, for everyone and it's better to know that early before getting financially invested.
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Unfortunately, no. I can provide superbills for reimbursement at a client’s request.
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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Internal Family Systems (IFS: Also sometimes called Parts Work)
Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Dialectical and Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Psychodynamic approaches
Somatic Experiencing
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
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This is what therapy is for. It’s to help you find the words to describe your experience. Words matter and finding those words can help you process and heal.
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Both. Whichever you prefer.
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This is what therapy is for. It’s to help you find the words to describe your experience. Words matter and finding those words can help you process and heal.
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Both. Whichever you prefer
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50 minutes
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$175 per 50 minute session (Same pricing for individuals and couples)
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Sessions canceled within 24 hours will be charged for the full cost of the session. I understand that life happens, work happens, traffic happens and kids get sick. I am always willing to switch clients to virtual sessions last minute.