Betrayal Trauma Therapy
You're not crazy. You're not overreacting. Something real happened to you.
Therapy for partners living through the aftermath of sexual betrayal, so you can get your footing back, stop living inside the replay loop, and figure out what you actually want.
You found out, and nothing has felt steady since.
Your mind won't stop replaying it. You're checking phones, locations, or reading old messages. You’re looking at calendars, and doing the math on dates. You feel like you're a completely different person from before you found out. Your mind is spinning with losing it, and the person who hurt you keeps suggesting you already have.
If any of this is what you’re experiencing:
Difficulty sleeping, eating and can’t stop the intrusive images
You're hypervigilant, reading every text and facial expression on your partner, looking to see if they’re lying
You're either questioning your own memory and gut sense or everything is not making sense of their behavior in the past
You’re enraged, frozen, humiliated, and numb, sometimes all at the same time
You're wondering if you'll ever feel safe in your own body again
You're not broken. Your mind and body are responding exactly the way they are supposed to when betrayed. What you're feeling has a name, betrayal trauma. And there is a way through it.
Reaching out after betrayal takes more strength than most people realize. You've might have been told to calm down, get over it, or stop bringing it up. Shoving it all away is not the way to healing. This makes the trauma worse.
I'm Kris Cristiano, LCSW and CSAT. I specialize in sexual betrayal, and I'll tell you the truth even when it's uncomfortable. I won't ask you to minimize what happened, and I will guide you through the process of healing. No two stories are the same.
My therapy approach is direct, boundary-led, and empathetic. I don’t tell clients what they want to hear because I want clients to heal and grow more than I want them to be temporarily comfortable. I'll help you get clear on what's real, name what you need, and rebuild a foundation, without losing yourself trying to control someone else's behavior.
The Plan
Request a free 15-minute consultation
We'll talk about what you're looking for in a therapist.
Why therapy now?
What you're hoping to get out of therapy.
See if we are the right fit. No pressure, no obligation.
Stabilize first
Before deep work, we get you steady.
We name and manage the symptoms
Learn what boundaries are and how to implement them
Get clear on where things actually stand.
The goal here is finding you and, if your partner is willing, finding truth too through Disclosure.
Do the trauma work
From a solid ground, we process the trauma through EMDR & IFS
Rebuild your sense of safety,
Help you decide, on your terms, what you want next.
WHERE THIS LEADS
Right now: intrusive thoughts, checking behaviors, second-guessing yourself, bracing for the next blow.
With work: you sleep again. The replay loop quiets. You trust your own read on things. You know your boundaries and you can say them out loud. Whatever you decide about the relationship, you're deciding it as yourself, not as someone held hostage by fear.
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No. Couples therapy at the beginning stages of betrayal doesn’t work. There might still be a third element in the marriage (addiction, affair partner, trauma, patterns, behaviors, faulty thinking, and more) which makes couples healing nearly impossible. Start with your own individual therapy first to find a foundation. If you and your partner have done some individual work and want to work on the relationship together, that's separate.
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No. My job isn't to push you toward or away from the relationship. I will actually never suggest divorce or staying. This is strictly to help you find clarity and start to heal so you can choose for yourself.
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The combination of responses (intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, anxiety/depression, difficulty trusting your own perception) that shows up after discovering sexual betrayal. It overlaps with PTSD, and it's very treatable.
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It's free and 15 minutes. I'll ask what you're looking for in a therapist, why therapy now, and what you're seeking. You'll get a feel for me. I'm not the right fit for everyone, and it's better to know that early before getting financially invested.
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This is always hard to hear. It can take 3-5 years to fully heal. This depends on so many factors, and that doesn’t mean you are in therapy for that long. But for your body to really start to feel safe again, it can take years.
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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Internal Family Systems (IFS: Also sometimes called Parts Work)
Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Dialectical and Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Psychodynamic approaches
Somatic Experiencing
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
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Unfortunately, no. I can provide superbills for reimbursement at a client’s request.
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This is what therapy is for. It’s to help you find the words to describe your experience. Words matter and finding those words can help you process and heal.
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Both. Whichever you prefer
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50 minutes
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I’m licensed in and able to see clients in Colorado and Utah.
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$175 per 50 minute session (Same pricing for individuals and couples)
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Sessions canceled within 24 hours will be charged for the full cost of the session. I understand that life happens, work happens, traffic happens and kids get sick. I am always willing to switch clients to virtual sessions last minute.